Author Topic: Your guide to surviving a zombie attack. (Read 4978 times)

ccccpie · « **on:** February 12, 2008, 04:01:21 PM »

After playing the game "Resident Evil 4" For the Wii and reading a book called "Your guide to surviving a zombie attack" I have come up with a guide that will save your life one day.

1. Never trust a German/turn your back on one,Especially *fufa, he will end up trying to kill you somehow. To avoid this just avoid Germans altogether as they are a threat.

2. When facing a zombie decapitation is usually the best way, zombies when hit in the head die either damage the brain or chop the head off altogether.

3. When facing a hoard of zombies, first off its best to just avoid them but in the off chance your being surrounded, look for high ground or try to make a run through an opening as zombies are very slow and will have a hard time trying to catch you. If you do find high ground like a tree, climb up it as zombies cannot climb and will be unable to reach you.

4. If by some means a zombies head blows up and a giant parasite like thing comes out of it, do not run as its razer blades are very fast and long. The best thing to do is shoot at the parasite, the zombie will die after a couple of shots.

5. When facing off with zombie dogs, you are usually screwed and do not want to face them, but if by chance you have a shotgun USE IT and shoot for there bodies so they cant move and just run.

6.Now is the part that is very scary, if you get surrounded by zombies and there is water, swim, zombies can only float and walk on the bottom of the water, since they don't need water to survive they will still try to eat you. BUT DON'T FRET you just need to swim 10 feet above them and swim fast towards a shore and make a run for it.

7. Now if by chance you come across a giant ugly

*2 story's tall* run around him as he is exceptionally slow and wont be able to reach you unless you stop moving. This is the part were you take out a gun and aim for his back. When a parasite sprouts out of his back use a knife and slash at it a couple of times, this might take a few rounds of slashing running and shooting, but just don't get picked up, he wont scratch you, he will throw you.

8. Always bring a buddy, the buddy system always works especially if your sleeping, cooking or doing your business out in a bush, your Buddie will alarm you if zombies are coming and hopefully shoot them.

9. Were almost through your survival manual on how to stay alive during a zombie attack. Do not ever cook food or burn yourself, the smell will carry to the zombies and they will come in huge packs.

10. Sadly if you or a friend get infected, shoot yourself or him once he has turned he will come after you first and you don't want to eat your friend?

11. The best method of transportation is either a bike, because a bike is very quite and will not make noise, or a hoarse, hoarse are choice meat for zombies in case you do get attacked.

This guide will save your life, BE PREPARED FOR THE ZOMBIE INVASION AND GET EQUIPPED WITH GUNS AND KNIVES. this guide might save your life enjoy

IndyChav · « **Reply #1 on:** February 12, 2008, 04:03:47 PM »

OK as I told you .... you may be able to survive against zombies but that guide will in no way save you should you have to face an Indy attack.

That is all.

noah03ark · « **Reply #2 on:** February 12, 2008, 04:04:55 PM »

but...zombies aren't real

ra1n · « **Reply #3 on:** February 12, 2008, 04:07:31 PM »

Quote from: noah03ark on February 12, 2008, 04:04:55 PM

but...zombies aren't real

Yea they are. Haven't you heard about the cpie?

IndyChav · « **Reply #4 on:** February 12, 2008, 04:08:27 PM »

he was killed in the fire of '89 o_O

ccccpie · « **Reply #5 on:** February 12, 2008, 04:09:19 PM »

....

>.>

<.<

>.<

*Backs into Noahs closet*

noah03ark · « **Reply #6 on:** February 12, 2008, 04:09:40 PM »

if they're real then there should be like 20 in my back yard

ryan0 · « **Reply #7 on:** February 12, 2008, 06:02:21 PM »

zombies,never ever open a can of guinness or hoards of them will chase you down until they can tear that precious can from your fingers.somehow i have found a home among these beings and do not notice them anymore,mostly because they dont come out during the day,or the night for that matter,only to stumble home,yes...we are talking about....OLD SH*TS

budgray19 · « **Reply #8 on:** February 12, 2008, 06:18:01 PM »

thats kinda stupid tho in resident evin
they can break thro teh interior and soild steel doors but they cant break thro chain length fence BS!
id like to work at a gun show and live in my local mall where i knwo all the girls will be at lol
cuz our mall has 4 gun shops and lots of food joints
shotgun
sawed off shotty
rifle w/ scope of some sort
glock or a desert egal
and if i could get my hands on one a mini gun and mount it head high on a bus or something

and btw pie

dont sjhoot them till they turn
when they turn then u shoot em in the head

and btw they did manage to make a zombie dog
he was normal after the operation
what they did was draw all teh blood out and put some sorta alchoho or preserver in his veins and frooze em
adn 3 yrs later put the blood back and treated him as if he would rip ur head off
and come to find out hes normal as he was 3 yrs prior

they say their gonna try it with Brittany spears next
lol

dreamer01 · « **Reply #9 on:** February 12, 2008, 06:30:11 PM »

Quote from: IndyChav on February 12, 2008, 04:03:47 PM

OK as I told you .... you may be able to survive against zombies but that guide will in no way save you should you have to face an Indy attack.

That is all.

somebody make up a guide to survive from an Indy invasion!!! they catching me!!! EAT THIS!!! ....... hey, i figured they like pie.... YEAH!

Reaper · « **Reply #10 on:** February 12, 2008, 09:36:40 PM »

Quote from: dreamer01 on February 12, 2008, 06:30:11 PM

somebody make up a guide to survive from an Indy invasion!!! they catching me!!! EAT THIS!!! ....... hey, i figured they like pie.... YEAH!

Easy, lots of fake gold and jewelry with a boombox that plays indy rock. He can't resist...

Also when I deal with zombies I usually go out with my scythe and slice em up
then feast on their bodies!

phenomenal · « **Reply #11 on:** February 12, 2008, 11:46:37 PM »

Well, you know the zombie things in I AM LEGEND!!!, i know a way to defeat them, just build a big kevlar suit with multiple infered and uv leds on it, so when they get close their skins burn and they pee themselfs

To honestly get away from zombies in real life (if they exist) is to go into a treehouse

then break off that string ladder, and make no noise or fumes for many days.

*FuFa · « **Reply #12 on:** February 13, 2008, 06:06:27 AM »

I don't find Rule 1# funny at all...

Reaper · « **Reply #13 on:** February 13, 2008, 09:55:29 AM »

Quote from: *FuFa on February 13, 2008, 06:06:27 AM

I don't find Rule 1# funny at all...

who let you out of your cage?
*backs away slowly*
*comes back with cake*
*we eat delicious cake*
*a trap is fine to...*
*??????????*
*profit!*

decy90 · « **Reply #14 on:** February 13, 2008, 11:18:37 AM »

Quote from: MuSiK on February 12, 2008, 04:01:21 PM

8. Always bring a buddy, the buddy system always works especially if your sleeping, cooking or doing your business out in a bush, your Buddie will alarm you if zombies are coming and hopefully shoot them.

9. Were almost through your survival manual on how to stay alive during a zombie attack. Do not ever cook food or burn yourself, the smell will carry to the zombies and they will come in huge packs.

I smell a contradiction... blah blah or at least you should put rule 8 after 9 that way they know not to cook, however if its a must then bring a buddy + the friend might get eatten first.... and give you ample time to finish your business eat your food have a sleep.. then run home

kink192 · « **Reply #15 on:** February 13, 2008, 03:06:10 PM »

pretty knife, pretty shotgun, pretty shells, pretty movie lol im sending this guide to my older brother in korea hes a strong believer in the 2012 theory

seikene · « **Reply #16 on:** February 13, 2008, 05:56:32 PM »

3. When facing a hoard of zombies, first off its best to just avoid them but in the off chance your being surrounded, look for high ground or try to make a run through an opening as zombies are very slow and will have a hard time trying to catch you. If you do find high ground like a tree, climb up it as zombies cannot climb and will be unable to reach you.

If you saw I am Legend, then you know zombies can't be slow. Those zombies in that movie ran like a mutha.
Plus that knife will do jack for damage, your better off running then trading blows with a knife- According to the guide in RE 2 :P
Of course this is just contradicting your rules on other games

.
In real life, this ALL is correct and applies to EVERY SITUATION
Btw I do like all the stuff you have in that bed sheet, they are all smexy.
Us modders would be like gods vs the zombies (from I am legend). Just like he said, make a UV suit, we can even grab like a Ds lite and mod it so that both screens are just filled with UV lights :P. We flip it open like CIAs and just wipe em out XD.
Heh all in all, very nice guide Musik. lol We should add it in the tuts, like in everyone. You should also make a AvP guide :P

budgray19 · « **Reply #17 on:** February 13, 2008, 06:43:46 PM »

they whernt zombies

zombies move slow

them where altered huuuuumans by a airborn and phycical virus

now do zombies trade off with air born viruses
no

can zombies make traps... not realy
(by traps i mean by weights and wires liek in i am legend)
can zombies tackle a fuuull sized linkon continetal
i dont think so

seikene · « **Reply #18 on:** February 14, 2008, 12:35:29 PM »

What about RE 4 enemies? They look like people but they are zombies, and can run pretty danm fast!

budgray19 · « **Reply #19 on:** February 14, 2008, 01:16:44 PM »

ok the whole fast zombies is hollywood man

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Author Topic: Your guide to surviving a zombie attack. (Read 4978 times)

ccccpie

ccccpie

phenomenal