Reaper's COD:WaW Beta Key Giveaway...

[Reaper]

I've got a key here, but I figure I could amuse myself with it by handing it out the the first person who can make me laugh, be it an original joke or what not...
keep it clean, or send me a PM 

[PspKicks316]

This better not be the key I gave you

[Reaper]

This better not be the key I gave you

Nope, I got a new one in the mail about 20 minutes ago

[PspKicks316]

Lol okay. I'll think of something to crack you up \

...eventually

[Alien_X]

Lol okay. I'll think of something to crack you up \

...eventually

I Pmed you something reaper, So I will have my code now please.. 

[Reaper]

I Pmed you something reaper, So I will have my code now please.. 

Almost, got me to crack a smile anyways.  Try again little man 

[Alien_X]

Almost, got me to crack a smile anyways.  Try again little man 

I guess it isn't so funny when it is the truth 

[Luke]

I get these codes all the time :\ i sell them on cod 4 for microsoft points D:

[sean7341]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!





PM me the code please!

[Reaper]

I guess it isn't so funny when it is the truth 

I know, its amazing how large it is.  I just can't help but smile 

[gameroms]

if you get another let me know, im going to be giving away a free cod premod controller on the forum here, gonna have red dome led, red ring of light, and rapid fire, rapid reload, and id like a key to go along with it.  system will be posting the contest very soon.


How do you make a tissue dance?

put a little BOOGIE in it.


LOL, i thought it was a good one when my 9yr old told me.

[PspKicks316]

How many does screw it take in to dyslexics a light bulb?

[Reaper]

How many does screw it take in to dyslexics a light bulb?

FUUU-----

Almost got me

at first I didn't get it ( Speed reading teaches yeah to look at the whole sentence at a time )

[PspKicks316]

I probably would've gotten you if I remembered the exact wording my friend had. I kinda just took the sentence and jumbled it up. The way he had it, it made me crack up.

[cvasc33]

Ok heres a good one

you Know why Will is the worst name if you got to war?

because they say "fire at will!"

tehe!

My first post!

[Reaper]

Ok heres a good one

you Know why Will is the worst name if you got to war?

because they say "fire at will!"

tehe!

My first post!

Lame

but welcome to Acidmods

dork 

[PspKicks316]

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.


A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”


At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: “Major Barry, what the devil’s wrong with Sergeant Jones’ platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.”
“Well sir,” says Major Barry after a moment of observation. “There seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.”



Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”



A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

[Winterz117]

the first one and the last two of pspkicks are my favorite

[cvasc33]

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."


HAHA
Read it a couple times to understand it.@!

Where dat beta code?

post # 3

[PspKicks316]

I don't get it o_O

Explica por favor

[cvasc33]

alzhemers( all timers) is wen u cant remembr much
And he forgot what the docter  said already xD

I win!

[Reaper]

None yet, kicks almost got me with the tent one 

[Alien_X]

None yet, kicks almost got me with the tent one 

Damn you.

[GhoSt]

ha U wan't a joke, This thread...

[Reaper]

ha U wan't a joke, This thread...

gtfo mah thread with your lameness 

[Reaper]

Double Post,

I guess no one wants the code that badly...

[Alien_X]

Nope, but if anyone wants my code then here:

J3TPY-PMDR8-W43DY-YQX2B-F8323

[robin1989]

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."


how many animals can you fit in a condom?

1 c.ock, 2 balls and as many hares as you like!


A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding
anniversary. The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone,
with the inscription: "Here lies my wife.....cold as ever" Later the
furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription:
"Here lies my husband.....stiff at last"


BOY. Those clothes are very becoming on you!

GIRL. Why thank you!

BOY. Of course if i was on you i would be too!


A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened.

"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort."

"That is awful," said the other guy, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?"

"Right!" said the drunk, still crying.

"You're sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her,right?"

"Oh, No," said the drunk. I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"


Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.. whether you're here or not."


Q: what do you get when you put 10 blondes ear to ear?

A: a wind tunnel



Body: virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come

over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."


The little farm boy storms out of the house, mad about being ordered to do his chores. In the barnyard, he kicks the rooster. Near the barn, he kicked a hog. In the corral, he kicked the family�s milk cow. His mother saw all this and stormed out after him.

"I saw you kick that rooster; just for that, you�ll get no eggs. And I saw you kick that hog; just for that, you�ll get no bacon. And I saw you kick the cow; just for that, you�ll get no milk!"

His father heard the yelling, came out of the barn, tripping over the cat and nearly falling, after which, he booted the poor animal out of his way. The cat ran screeching into the barn.

The little boy looked up at his mother and said, "You want to tell him or shall I?"


The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep And woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes
Outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'


The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'


i just read over these and thought some were a little inapropriate so if you agree reaper then edit

[PspKicks316]

TL:DR:
LOLOL

Nice ones Robin! Copy paste ftw! Lol some of those made me laugh, that cheesy pickup line one at the top I've heard a bunch of times (I'm sure you edited it out, but it's supposed to be: "Of course if i was on you i would be coming too!"

[robin1989]

lol there from some of my friends on facebook and other ones ive got by email

[Tri-edge]

lol there from some of my friends on facebook and other ones ive got by email

I read the one about the pharmacist in a encyclopedia of jokes book that I have

[buickgnx]

a guys doctor calls him after a big surgery and says hes got some good news and some bad. the guy says whats the good news the doctor says"you have one day to live." the guy says whats the bad news the doctor says "i forgot to call you yesterday." the doctor hears the phone drop and then dead silence.

[p3t3r_m]

i thaught some of them were rely funny but u guys do all know the beta ended on the 31st right ...

[PspKicks316]

i thaught some of them were rely funny but u guys do all know the beta ended on the 31st right ...

They stopped giving codes out, but you can still play. One of my friends was playing this morning...

[kenoman]

lol some good ones here