Anyone up for reading a peice of descriptive writing?

[H-Sauce]

It's english coursework, it's what I've got so far, need to be 1000 words long though :/

Blood everywhere. Every time I open my eyes all I can see is crimson. Running in streams like the veins they where once contained in. It is a truly horrifying site. Organs and limbs are scattered all over the battle field. Bodies dropping every few seconds. Even calling it bloodshed is an understatement. Any belief I had of good is gone. All I see is evil. Nothing but sin. I’m on the boat, and the stench of death tickles my gag reflex. Eyes closed, I throw my head over the edge of the boat and release the acidic liquid from my stomach into the sea. I open my eyes. The sea is a deep red. An arm floats past in the water. “That could be me” I think to myself. Then I notice I’m surrounded by what vaguely resembles flesh. The stench hits me once more, causing me to propel vomit from my moth again. I don’t want the suffering. I could end it all now, to avoid it all... No, that’s not the way to think. I must be positive. I have to look on the bright side. My thoughts flash to my beautiful wife and children. I must survive, not for me, but for them. Someone starts shouting orders to me, pulling me from my deep (and grim) thoughts.

C+C Please

[injungleist]

great wording but dark, very dark. i like it.

[H-Sauce]

I wanted it to be quite dark. It's about the D-Day landings.

[Jumbo]

Are you trying to scare everyone? Lol. Other than it being sick, its a really great piece so far

"release the acidic liquid from my stomach into the sea" I loled.

[H-Sauce]

Part 2:

I finally arrive on the beach. Whilst on the boat I was observing the soldiers on the beach. And I saw way too many fall victim to the landmines. Knowing the consequences, I tread carefully. I’m now stuck in a catch 22, Because If I was to walk slow the enemy will spot me, and send a shower of bullets my way.   But if I walk to fast I run the risk of being obliterated by the explosive mines that lay below. I hear a soldier drowning behind me. “Steve!” he roars, in between gurgles. Frantic splashing. And then... Nothing. A deadly silence from a once lively man .He’s dead. And so will I be if I don’t make my mind up soon. A bullet sails past my ear, burying itself into a soldier behind me. Blood is spurting out of his face as if it was a fountain.  A grim reminder of perhaps things to come. That’s it; I have to make my mind up now. It takes me a single second to decide, and then I break into a full sprint, ignoring the path of dead behind me.
Post Merge: July 12, 2009, 10:11:32 AMPart 3:

Bad move. I feel my foot land on something hard. My life flashes before my eyes. My father. My mother. The building collapse that killed them both. My wife. My kids. Then I realize something... I’m not dead yet. I look at my foot. I stepped on a dead soldiers helmet. I look up. I see a soldier stare at me, with a slight smirk on his face. I pull out my gun and quickly shoot. The rapid rattle that I hear has just saved my life. The bullet slices straight through his retina, causing blood to spurt everywhere. I start to feel sorry for him. Then I remember that he was going to do the exact same thing to me. I hear a clink, as a bullet hits the helmet of the soldier next to me. I’m snapped back to reality.  Another body drops dead behind me. I turn to see my brother, or his head rather, laying on the floor. His body is lying a few meters away. I’m not now just doing it for my country. I’m now doing it for my younger brother.
Post Merge: July 12, 2009, 03:27:36 PMPart 4: (Extremly Gory)

I scream at the top of my voice, a mighty roar that sounded like it stirred from the depths from hell. I start running blindly, shooting everyone in sight, regardless of if they were on my side or not. I just don’t care. Blood everywhere. But there’s a difference. I’m enjoying it. I feel so alive. I have killed countless innocent people, but I just don’t care. I have had a taste for blood, and I want more. I see a soldier running. He’s German, which makes it all the more meaningful. I pick a bit of metal off of the floor. It strikes him in the back of the head, and he tumbles down to the floor. I take out my knife and make a slice to his belly. His innards start to seep out. I pull them out, and smother them in his face. I force feed this man his own innards. He hasn’t experienced pain yet. He’s dead, but my thirst for blood is not satisfied. I see a German general talking to a soldier. As the soldier walks off, I punch the general in the back of the head. He falls to the floor. I find a deserted tower with a small window. I pull out some rope and drag the unconscious general to the top of the tower.

[injungleist]

when i read it i imagine henry rollins saying it. in the spoken word voice.
again dark and i still like.
part 3: his head landed on the floor. there out side so that would be ground.

[H-Sauce]

Part 5: (The last part)

I’m now standing by the window. I pick up the general by putting my arms underneath his arm pits. I tie the rope around his neck I tie the other end to a hook just above the window. The German starts coming to. I shout indecipherable nonsense at the soldiers below, and through the general out of the window. I laugh sadistically at the dying general. His face turns blue. And then he takes his final breath. I suddenly hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and random shouts in German. I throw a grenade down the stairs. I hear the explosion. And then silence. I run downstairs, and see a soldier. I don’t know who it is, and I don’t care. I shoot a whole round of deadly ammunition towards him. He flops. Out of curiosity I check who he is. To my horror, it’s my best friend for 13 years. The one who was always there if I had a problem. The one who has supported me when I was in trouble. I start sobbing, the pain couldn’t get worse. I’ve had enough of this life. I pull out my knife for the last time. I make a small incision to my gut. I take the pin out of the grenade. I insert it into my stomach. And then... Nothing. Just black.

And I edited part 3 in the typed up copy. Thanks for that, I didn't realise lol.

[injungleist]

nice. THE END.

[bustinthejustin]

Wow that was good... I fail so hard at English lol... My creative writing sucks.

[jacobia jacob]

that was really amazingly good. i never saw that ending coming

[Rory]

Wow that was good... I fail so hard at English lol... My creative writing sucks.

Amen Brother.
English Language: D
English Literature: E