Update, to myself and anyone who reads in the future.
I took the BD92001 chip and the 771 chip out of a board that was used as a sacrificial offering to the gods, and I compared diode readiings around both chips making sure to not miss any pin. The readings in the picture are all from a fully working board that I actually use everyday.
I found that all of the JDM-001 boards have readings that kind of sugest that there is not a BD92001 chip present. I know because I also compared the readings above to the readings I get in the sacrificial board that does not have those chips, and then to the half broken boards that work perfectly fine except for the lights. The readings in the broken boards coincide to the readings from the sacrificial board around the BD92001 chip. The readings around the 771 chip match the broken boards to the good board.
I going to keep probing around to find out what the BD92001 chip does, because as far as I understand, it appears to only control the voltage that goes to the LEDS. Not even the color management; only their VCC. The broken boards charge and sync just fine despite the readings suggesting that there's no BD92001 chip. I might test if there's also a relation to the audio chip. If it works, if it doesn't. If there's a working gyroscope, etc. But some other time.
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