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Author Topic: A Poem I Wrote  (Read 2301 times)

Offline P3nnyw1se

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A Poem I Wrote
« on: February 26, 2008, 09:40:59 PM »
Doesn't have a name, but it describes my feelings for now
What do you guys think?
(I know a lot of guys don't write poems, but I like to sometimes)

Acid dropping from the sky
You look up and wonder why
The worlds burning up inside you
You just can't take the pressure anymore
You want to just give in and let all of this go
There never was any hope in this world for you
So just pack your things and take your leave
This world doesn't welcome you anymore
It never did make you feel at home
It just wanted you to disappear into the shadows
Now it's up to you
What do you think you can do
Can you set it straight
Or will you trying just be too much for it to take
Does the world make sense anymore
It never did in the first place
Just take your leave
Go beyond hell
Past heaven
Doesn't matter what the devil's say
You just don't care anymore
Nothing has any value to you
Nothing means anything to you

-P3nnyw1se
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Offline IndyChav

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2008, 09:09:59 AM »
It's enticing, slightly depressing but enticing none the less

And I like to write A LOT not strictly poems well never poems to be honest but I write what I want to say but cant or write whats on my mind It makes me feel better by putting what im thinking into words. Not as fruity as you sceptics think as the topic can be anything. For example my take on world issues or explaining my thoughts on the human mentality things to that degree.

Regardless nice piece but im curious as to what gave you that state of mind?
From what i have deciphered somethings happened to you and you've lost all hope, lost the understanding the purpose. What makes you feel this way? What gave you the need to express it. Yes I am actually interested. i want to try to further understand the psychology that puts us in the situations we are in and makes us feel the way we do at any given time. Just a query you don't have to respond if you don't want to.
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Offline P3nnyw1se

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2008, 04:25:22 PM »
It's ment to be depressing in a way, and as for losing hope, I lost hope on it long ago, then the hope came back, and now it's gone again...as far as that goes.  Good deciphering!
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Offline ra1n

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2008, 03:04:21 PM »
It's beautiful but thats doesn't change the fact that its depressing. But I love it.
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Offline Reaper

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2008, 03:28:01 PM »
To mundane to be considered remarkably unique...
almost every novice poet writes about saddness/lost hopes and dreams
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Offline P3nnyw1se

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2008, 03:41:34 PM »
actually, I'm not a novice, but ok
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Offline Reaper

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2008, 03:46:39 PM »
Quote from: P3nnyw1se on February 28, 2008, 03:41:34 PM
actually, I'm not a novice, but ok
Wasn't calling you a novice, just saying most newer poets use the whole dreariness as their theme for poems, almost tiring
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Offline P3nnyw1se

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2008, 03:48:11 PM »
ooo, i c, <=== misinterpreted! Sry about that!
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Offline Reaper

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2008, 04:00:30 PM »
Quote from: P3nnyw1se on February 28, 2008, 03:48:11 PM
ooo, i c, <=== misinterpreted! Sry about that!

NP
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Offline seikene

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2008, 05:25:04 PM »
Yeah it is pretty depressing. If this wasn't a poem directed toward your feelings but meant for the reader to interpret, then this wouldn't be a good poem, because it sounds like it's trying to make the reader sad, which is usually not a good thing in poems, or movies for that matter. But yeah it is good, and really says a number of things about your sadness. It's something many people can relate to. I don't wanna say I relate to it and sound like some tard wannabe, but I do feel like that since my whole arrest thing and being locked down in my own home. Anyway I'd probably keep that in some notebook and share it with some random Literature Teacher :P, and a good one, any other one would call you an emo XD
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Offline P3nnyw1se

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Re: A Poem I Wrote
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2008, 05:38:20 PM »
lol, thanks Seike
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