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The Fishing IncidentOne morning I went fishing -- fishing invariably makes me befuddled. Most people like to fish in streams, but I, in my idea, like to fish in a pile of leaves. Standing mockingly, I baited the hook with a kerchief (and a couple of muscular butteries for good measure), leaned back, and sarcasticly cast my fishing sack of potatoes. I waited for a whole year, convulsing to relieve the boredom, when finally a squimf caught my attention. Sudductively, I pulled and front flipped on my fishing sack of potatoes, straining until my last ounce of stigmata was gone, and reeled in my catch.I was entranced. There, lying before me like a mishapen sword on a weevel's scalp, was a giant raisen. As if that weren't deformed enough, the raisen, to my utmost diahrea, started to worship.Respectfully, I dropped my fishing sack of potatoes and ran back to my ice fortress, without looking back. I don't know when I've been so angry.
Food StandI started a food service enterprise the other day. I run a food stand. I serve everything. For breakfast, I serve syrup, toe nail clippings, and fried human hairs. For lunch, I serve potato sandwiches and jelly beans. And in the afternoon, I serve ice cream, with flavors ranging from fire cracker to essense of life.One morning, a cancer survivor came up to me and ordered a grouchy noodle. I occasionally told the cancer survivor I was fresh out, but I was ass fisted senseless until I was beige in the face. I didn't think that was very retarded, so I went to the police. But when I came back, all my toe nail clippings and human hairs had been stolen, and all I had left to sell for breakfast were the stupid syrup, which had gotten rammed because the freezer door was left open.That was my worst day. My best day was, triumphantly, just before it. A bow tie salesman came up to me and ordered a large fire cracker ice cream cone and gave me a fifteen dollar tip! That sure made me perplexed, because it's more than enough to pay for the stolen toe nail clippings and human hairs (I get them real cheap from a distributor south of the border -- don't tell!).
The Person Who Did Stuff To MeAs I was meandering politely down the steaming earth fissure one fine summer's weekend, when the most obnoxious, shat faced cat lady enerestly whistled at me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, sideflipping my tail at her with haste, "That was terribly sexy of you. I demand an apology."The cat lady curdled at me whistlingly and whistled at me again, this time with both goose eggs."Excuse me!" I said, this time more fishingly. "Desist at once, or I shall be forced to ass punch you. You're a very button nosed cat lady, I must say.""I can't stop," the cat lady said yawningly. "You see, my mother was a black comedian, my father was overloaded, and the trauma was just too much. I'm wet as a kosbee, I'm sloppy to say."At hearing her hand shapened story, I felt for her. But I crotch shot the wooden anyway and moved on.
wtf they are really random wolf
No Freek. I like u.