Wow, Im allowed out for an hour a day... during vacation...

[PhenomenalDesigns]

Really :censored:ing pissing me off, because my little retarded brother who is only 2 years younger than me is still a little :censored:ing baby who cant take care of himself, i have to :censored:ing look after him all day while my parents are out of work, and im just forced to do choirs and fix the house while there gone like a :censored:ing maid/builder, yet I dont even get pocket money...

Last year around this time they were trying to get me outgoing because of my depression, but now they suddenly turn around and tell me to get back in my :censored:ing room

Ive had it, I somehow smashed my wall with my fist and now theres blood on my :censored:ing wall

[treemty]

Tell them to off, maybe not those exact words...but you know what I mean
Ive had to deal with this kind of stuff, I just dont do it and say i will

[loganbyers07]

Really :censored:ing pissing me off, because my little retarded brother who is only 2 years younger than me is still a little :censored:ing baby who cant take care of himself, i have to :censored:ing look after him all day while my parents are out of work, and im just forced to do choirs and fix the house while there gone like a :censored:ing maid/builder, yet I dont even get pocket money...

Last year around this time they were trying to get me outgoing because of my depression, but now they suddenly turn around and tell me to get back in my :censored:ing room

Ive had it, I somehow smashed my wall with my fist and now theres blood on my :censored:ing wall

I know how you feel dude. My parents are always away from home so I have to watch my little brother all week. Sometimes even sunday. What do I get in repay? Well I get to give any money I might have to my dad so that" he can put it in my bank account" Ha. More like his pocket. I had $1,000 at christmas and I have $600 in there now.

[PhenomenalDesigns]

Tell them to off, maybe not those exact words...but you know what I mean
Ive had to deal with this kind of stuff, I just dont do it and say i will

I cant, my parents are really strict, I can picture myself doing it to their :censored:ing faces, but my parents are really... you know when they just shout at you and your frozen, plus they hit me and take my stuff away

If there reading this....

you, you have 3 kids, you tried to get one sent to the other side of the country as soon as it became legal, you had one son that when he was 2, you forgot about and treat like , and a third son that is the only one you remember and love

If I could, I would break your jaws, but seeing as Im a , Id rather run away

I know how you feel dude. My parents are always away from home so I have to watch my little brother all week. Sometimes even sunday. What do I get in repay? Well I get to give any money I might have to my dad so that" he can put it in my bank account" Ha. More like his pocket. I had $1,000 at christmas and I have $600 in there now.

I know right? My parents AND major companys take my money and I cant do anything about it

Out of anger while writing this I headbutt my wall really hard and now my forehead is cut, somehow? How does that even :censored:ing happen? How can your skin split when its being hit straight into a wall, no stretching or anything... Physics is retarded... Like when I drop my pen, I look down, its a million miles away... It went further horizontally than vertically...

[PspKicks316]

:'( I still love you man, and that's all that matters.

[PhenomenalDesigns]

:'( I still love you man, and that's all that matters.

Im glad I have friends here, but in reality, I dont have that many, Im sorry im feeling like this, but just some people in this world just want me to hate life

I just feel like Im being used, by my own :censored:ing parents, I aint even a bad kid, im better behaved than both my brothers, i get better grades than them etc etc, yet they have some kind of hate agiasnt me...

Being the middle sibling must mean I dont matter

[budgray19]

yea i had top do the same thing
i just started to go to the pool every day with him and my friends and me met up there

[loganbyers07]

Yea, I do work hard but at least whenever I get out on my own it will not be as big of a change for me, I already cook, clean, do laundry, and go to school 8hrs a day and work weekends.

[Reaper]

lol, when I hit the walls with my body, the walls break... =D

[loganbyers07]

lol, when I hit the walls with my body, the walls break... =D

ha I have ran through some walls in my day, but it was because I was demolishing stuff. =P

[alentris]

Being the middle sibling must mean I dont matter

Dude, i feel ya... *facepalm* my parents spend half the time yelling at my older bro for crap (smoking, cussing, etc.) and then my lil bro just ignores my parents whenever asked to do crap, leaving me with all the work, and no sympathy from my parents cause my bros take up all of it! !

[SN!P3R]

sister is married and in chicago, leaves me to do nothing. occasionally get firewood or do some yard work, but not bad.

[H-Sauce]

I can't say that I know how you feel, I'm just always caught in the middle of everything, not going to go in to details, but it's getting me depressed. I was going on suicidal, as I pretty much have no relationships and it doesn't look like I will be getting involved in any anytime soon. I'm seriously emotionaly unstable.

Hope everything turns out better Phen. That must suck. Try talking to someone about it, maybe find some free clubs for your brother to join in in the easter holidays.

[atomicareprise]

frostBYTE: We didn't need to know that, no-one cares buddy, we're trying to cheer him up and your sitting there going "OH look at me i could smoke woo my life is so easy!". If you could do that all that means is your parents need to learn how to bring up a child.

[H-Sauce]

So are we now clear on the nature of replies?

[PhenomenalDesigns]

Thanks for all your help guys, but right now, i feel like im just a waste of space, time and money

What is the point of me living, I am not actually making anybodys life better, im suprised people can put up with me

I feel like I should get some stuff out, ive kept some secrets so long... they have just built up and now I feel like im just pretending to live another life

I have never kissed a girl
I have double vision because of self harm
I have never had a proper girlfriend
I havent gone out with friends in like 2 years now
I hate my family
I think about suicide everyday
I cut/burn myself
I pretend to everybody im fine
(Yesterday, I was standing at the end of a bridge, looking below, thinking "If I do this, everybody will be happier, including me", I was there for about an hour, just crying, until I was 'assaulted' by police and arrested, but then not charged)

I tried to get professional help at the doctors but the person said "Get lost, you stupid emo, this is for people that are genuinly mentally ill"

I want to get something straight, I am not an emo (I dont wear makeup, dont listen to suicidal/heavy metal music, I dont dress like an emo etc), I am not an attention seeker and I am not lying (So stop :censored:ing stereotyping me, i got :censored:ing banned because they thought I was an emo before)

I really did look for professional help, apparently, either the people at helpdesks hate people under 20, or hates people other than white

I want to have a life, I want to have a childhood, i want to aspire, but I dont know what to do, ive tried hanging around different people, tried hanging around girls, but in school theres like 3 girls per 30 boys etc

[alentris]

Thanks for all your help guys, but right now, i feel like im just a waste of space, time and money

you're not a waste of time, space and money, you were put here for a reason with something to do in life, just join the military once out of high school, get a post-high school degree, and do something to be proud of.

I have never kissed a girl
I have double vision because of self harm
I have never had a proper girlfriend
I havent gone out with friends in like 2 years now
I hate my family
I think about suicide everyday
I cut/burn myself
I pretend to everybody im fine

:p I've never had a girlfriend, made out with someone, i don't particularily like my family, and I *rarely* go out with people... it's part of life, i guess...

I want to have a life, I want to have a childhood, i want to aspire, but I dont know what to do, ive tried hanging around different people, tried hanging around girls, but in school theres like 3 girls per 30 boys etc

I feel ya on the whole girls thing there's like NO opportunity for chicks at my school...

[Reaper]

To be honest, you are what ever you want to be, if high school sucks then wait until you hit college... you don't need to be a party animal, but go out and make friends no matter what it takes.

[PsychoticWolf]

all your Problems Now are nothing. Just wait it out. You will find all this was nothing. Honestly tho, If you think this is Hard wait till your out of school and see what problems are before you. Right now this is just Little things Don't let it get to you. Just take every day Slow and think things out. Thinking about killing your self or anyone wont solve any of your problems. You will always have friends here.  Just take it slow and think things out.