you need to stick with your programer, and make it work. the DYI programer is old, and uses a com port (not VGA) desktops used to have these com ports and they supplied 5v, then as they were being phased out, the newer ones did not supply 5v so the usb powered option was added to the DYI programer, but it still reads and writes through the com port. New computers do not have this port.
the icsp cable is probably above your head atm. put it away for now.
the best advice I can give you is use the programmer you bought, find out why it dont work,,,,, read my previous reply!!